ON YOUR MARK, GET READY, NOW STUFF YOURSELF!

I love Thanksgiving, who wouldn’t? Here is a holiday where everyone here in the United States celebrates what they are thankful for and gets a huge meal to boot. I look forward to going to my mom’s where she always makes way too much and can’t understand why she has so much left over. Some us have very formal Thanksgivings, while others have a Thanksgiving that is very laid back where everyone sits around the TV watching football and eating until their clothes are about ready to burst off them. Thanksgiving also marks the official start of the Christmas season with the dreaded black Friday (a day in which you will never catch me at a mall). So I sit here typing my blog with visions of turkey, stuffing, mash potatoes, and gravy dancing in my head anticipating the big meal that will be forthcoming today.

I have a pretty good idea how my Thanksgiving is going to be since I have spent many with my mom but this year will be a little different and should be an exciting on at that. I plan to bring my camera to document this Thanksgiving because today my youngest brother (the one I swear is adopted) will be bringing his wife, their daughter, and I can’t remember how many kids from her previous marriage over to my mom’s for Thanksgiving. To put it to you bluntly my brother is not the sharpest tool in the shed, in fact if you look up the word “stupid” you will see my brother’s picture next to the word. When it comes to common sense that is something he knows nothing about. Let me give you an example of his sheer intellect. When he was young, talking teenage years here and old enough to know about what I am about to tell you, he needed a money order for $75.00 and had asked me to drive him to 7-11 to get one. No problem I thought. We get to 7-11 and he jumped out of the car while I sat and waited for him. Well about five minutes later he comes out looking all dejected and when I asked him what was wrong, he precedes to tell me that when he plopped his money on the counter and told the clerk he needed a money order for $75.00 the clerk told him no. This point I was ready to be the big sister and go in and ream the clerk until my dumb brother tells me the rest of his story. He thought in order to get a money order all you had to do was pay the fee for it, which at that time I believe it was .75 cents, and tell them how much you needed and they would just give you the money. After he tells me this, I was like you idiot but really with him I shouldn’t have been surprised he is known for doing stuff as such.

My brother is now in his thirty’s and you would think he had gotten a bit smarter over the years but he hasn’t, in fact I believe there is a leak in his brain (that is if he has one) and what brain matter he does have has been leaking out over the years. He is now married to this girl who loves kids, or at least that is what she says and she proves this point by having so many of them. The sad thing about this is she can’t support these kids. My brother met this one when he worked for a cable TV company and his job was to go over to her house and disconnect her cable for nonpayment. Well as things go with my brother he fell head over heels in love with her and before you knew it she was pregnant with his baby. My brother is very well known for falling in love with every woman he meets, in the past his woman he has fallen in love with have for the most part been certifiably nuts, used drugs, or are in a bad marriage and want to get back at their husbands. My brother has made it an art of finding these loonies and falling in love with them. Now he is married to one. She has I think five kids counting the one she had with my brother and all of these kids are like wild animals according to my mom. They run around her house when they come over destroying it and when it comes to sitting down and having a meal my mother states it’s like feeding time at the zoo. They don’t know how to use forks, spoons, or knives (with knives I guess this is a good thing) and they can’t sit still and on more then one occasion have told my mom to shut up when she corrects them. Lord help these kids today when I am over there, have too much of my father in me to have a child tell me to shut up (my kids don’t call me drill sergeant for nothing). My brother has no control over these kids and his wife wants even more kids that they can’t support!! They live in section 8 housing, on welfare, and collect food stamps. I think she needs to get her tubes tied and stop being a burden to the welfare system.

So today I will go over to my mom’s with camera in hand to document the cluster f*ck of a life that my brother has created. Wondering why my brother hasn’t learned a thing over years he has been alive and why he feels that being married is the solution to all of his problems. His family is very ecstatic about today’s big feast, as they should because according to my mom they eat hotdogs with mayo on it during the week so they are looking forward to having real food (this is because my brother’s wife doesn’t know how to cook and hotdogs are her specialty). I know my mom will be thankful for one thing today, she will not have to hear shut up from one of those kids because I will be there to stop them and of course I will let my brother know that he better get control over his new brood, after all we were not brought up to disrespect our parents. I just wonder though how thankful those kids are going to be meeting their new aunt today? Hehehehe! I see a scrapbook page in my future on this Thanksgiving!!


Happy Thanksgiving to all!