MORGAN'S DRAMA

Morgan, my youngest daughter, lets just say that child is a work of art. I really believe they broke the mold when she was created. Morgan is at the age now where the world is supposed to revolve around her, where her every whim is to be answered, and she knows everything. She is headstrong but very creative and she has the flare for theatrics. Dr. Phil would have a heyday with her and Oprah would just shake her head and say “Girl what are you thinking?” She is in herself an adjective because there are so many words to describe her.

Morgan is a tween, not quite a teenager but too old to be a child and at the age where a mother just wants to bang her head into a wall and say, “why oh why?” Today I felt compelled to blog about her because as usual with Morgan, she pulled one of her Oscar winning performances at 3:30 this morning. She is claiming to be sick, a claim she does often in hopes that I bend and let her stay home from school. I knew this was coming only because her brother has been home sick with strep throat and with Morgan, her game has always been monkey see monkey do.

Her claims of dying starting on Monday when she came home from school saying her throat was starting to hurt (understand this is how Morgan starts the big build to an Oscar winning performance). Then yesterday she wasn’t even at school for an hour and I get a call from the school nurse with the claims of her throat starting yet again to hurt. Last night (Oh the drama of it all) we had dizzy spells and a headache but she had no problem woofing down dinner and driving the dog into a frenzy of rowdiness. The climax of the death of Morgan came at 3:30 this morning (lucky for Morgan I am up at this time or I would have put her out of her misery myself.) with her feebly trying to call out to me in her throes of death for help. At this time I am at the computer and all I hear is a sound like one of the cats were dying so I got up to see what the commotion was all about. Thank God for me it was only Morgan dying and I must say she should win the Oscar this year because that child put on one stellar performance for me. There she was in bed splayed out like she was ready to be sacrifice to the Gods telling me now that her belly hurt and she felt like she had to vomit (One has to understand with Morgan that she can make herself throw up by coughing too much, a feat she has perfected to get out of school at a drop of a dime). So I tell her to go and throw up and what did she want me to do about it.

Now please don’t think I am a cold and heartless mother but Morgan is the queen of playing sick, she wrote the book on it and she is very good at crying wolf. I knew her throat wasn’t hurting she had no signs of strep throat, no fever, and has had boundless energy, this was just good ole Morgan feeling left out because her brother got out of school for being sick. Morgan has the ability to come up with diseases that AMA hasn’t heard about and if you are a producer of a soap opera in need of a dying child I have one for ya! I guarantee you will win a daytime Emmy for her performance, she is that good. Ok let’s get back to the drama.

Morgan, after about five minutes, came out of her bedroom and fell dying on the sofa (mind you feebly coming out of her bedroom because the sickness that had over taken her poor body was making her so weak.), so I could bear witness to just how sick she was. I am at the computer, so I can’t see her and she knows this so she then proceeds with the moaning and groaning as if there are only minutes left to her life on earth. The moaning and groaning stops but then the coughing starts up and you guess it, the vomiting came next. At this time I am shock, what is a mother to do? Call 911, take her to the hospital, or fall on my knees and plead to God to save my dying child! No, I just told her to get her dying ass into the bathroom and clean up the mess she made in the living room. I know at this time you all must be on the edge of your seats wondering if Morgan survived, well she did, thank God! Ah yes I can hear the gasp of relief from everyone. After she cleaned up her mess in the living room, she ask me if she could stay home from school, in her very weak trembling voice as if these will be the last words she will ever be able to speak. I told her she could but just for today (hell give me a break, after all the performance she put on was stellar!), and that she was not allowed on the computer. Morgan exhausted from her performance fell asleep.

You may be thinking that I bend and let Morgan stay home? Well the answer to that is yes and no because if I sent her to school I would have ended up having to get her (remember she can vomit at will), and I really didn’t want to hear moan and bitch to me about how sick she is for the next week or so. If I let her stay home today then the drama will end and I also have a plan to teach her a lesson (He, he, he). Par for course with Morgan, she will be dying until about 11:00 and then hunger is going to kick in along with boredom, that is when operation living hell will begin. Since she has been vomiting I will only let her have a bland diet today, if any. This will just about kill Morgan because she loves to eat and we will have one of her favorite dinners tonight just to top it off. I will torture her with watching T.V. shows she hates (remember she is dying on my living room sofa), and when she miraculously recovers by about 1:00 today she will only be able to lie there doing nothing until her brain will explode with boredom. She will not be able to call friends, draw, or go to her room and play her stereo, after all she was near death this morning and I want her to make a full recovery. By tonight she will be begging me to let her go to school because she feels so much better. Oh yes, victory will be mine!

For anyone believing Morgan is sick, you can send get well cards, flowers, and if you like, and you think she really is dying, you may set up a memorial fund in her name. I am sure Morgan will be so honored if you do so (she just loves sappy suckers that fall for her act). For everyone that really knows Morgan (Hey that means Suzie, Ma and Pa Fidd, and Ashley), you have my permission to call and give her a hard time (nothing gets her goat when people don’t fall for her dying act). I just think today would be a wonderful day to teach my little drama queen a lesson about playing sick and missing school because her butt is too lazy to go. Hmmm, think I will call the producers that made the movie Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and see if they want to make another movie called Morgan’s Day Off? Lord knows Matthew Broderick’s performance can’t hold a candle to Morgan’s performance. Ah yes, I do see an Oscar in Morgan’s future.